Going the Distance!
I think when people hear “long distance relationship” they think it mainly pertains to love based relationships i.e. boyfriends and girlfriends. What some people forget is that friendships can be long distance too! Interestingly enough, I still have a couple long distance friends and when I dated my husband we were long distance as well. Even though my husband I met at college in 2007 it wasn’t till seven years later we decided to start dating. You’re probably thinking why a seven-year wait? Well two fold my husband had just joined the Marines and we were at different stages of our life. If we had gotten together then we probably wouldn’t be married today. When he finally asked me out, he was living in Orange County and I lived in the Bay Area. So there was a decent size gap between us. When we had decided to start this journey, we knew that there could be a chance that it may not work but I think we were both willing to go the distance. (No pun intended) This could be said for friendships as well. I am very lucky to have a good group of friends who live all throughout California. At one time, my best friend and I lived on opposite coasts! Now I am definitely not an expert on this topic but here are a couple things I’ve learned along the way.
·Communication- I bet you have heard this before but Communication is key to any relationship. I feel with long distance it can be hard to express how you are feeling at the time but it is so important! We live in this time of texting and instant messaging so things tend to get lost in translation. Something light-hearted can be read as having a tone or passive. Just like many I have definitely been accused of this a time or two. It became very apparent when I was planning my wedding. I will say some comments had been warranted but the rest had been lost in the mix due to lack of communication. That was huge learning curve for me to make sure I either took the time to call or put a disclaimer like “imagine this in a happy voice” I am very much the person who thrives off of receiving a text or video from someone!
·Take trips together! Obviously with COVID restrictions this is not as easy but prior to this my friends and I would try to plan out times to see each other in person. When I was dating my hubby, we would choose 1-2 weekends out of the month for time together if our schedules allowed for it. For both dating and friends you can either plan an elaborate get-away or just a fun weekend at your home. It doesn’t matter in the end because it all about the quality time spent together!
Face Time or Zoom- This could probably go under communication but I feel that it needs it own section. My friend, Julia (diydougherty.com) and I at the beginning of lock down started monthly video chats. Not that she and I don’t already text practically everyday but adding a Face Time has been a blast. It helps the sting of not being able to go over to her house when I want a little less. I get to see her emotions, laugh with her, and drink a little too much! We usually end our night saying that we should have been doing this from the time I moved to SoCal. This also does not just pertain to one person you can easily do this with a group of friends! Shoot that’s how I celebrated my birthday this year!
All relationships take work whether they are long distance or not! Also, it should not be one sided! If your friend or love is taking the time and wants to talk to you please give that effort back. Even if you can’t get to your phone right way, later is always better than not at all. You never know when a friendship will run its course. Be sure to cheerish each one you have and remember there is always room for more!
Toodles Noodles-Caitie
